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I invited him to swing by to smoke a joint and he eagerly accepted. We stopped and picked up a couple of six-packs of Dos Equis at a convenience store and then headed on for my place. After we got stoned I steered the conversation to sex. Ralph told me that thanks to a bad marriage and a not so friendly divorce he’d been single for a year or so and hadn't had any pussy for a while. I seized the opportunity and told him, “I haven't had any pussy or cock for a while either.” Almost choking on his beer, he stammered, "Dude, you go both ways?” I told him, “I only date women but I like to suck cock every once in a while.” I decided to go for it. “I saw your big cock in the men’s room and I’d love to suck it.” Instead of answering he asked, “Have you got any tequila?” I poured two shots and we slammed them down. With a sigh, he slunk down on the sofa and spread his legs slightly. Then he leaned back causing his T-shirt to ride up, revealing a happy trail of luscious dark hair from his. )Robin: Why, of course. My Richard always thinks about me.BZZZZZZ (A buzzer sounds.)Peter: I'm sorry Robin, that is not what Richard said.Robin: What? You sick bastard, wait till we get home. You'll be thinking about your right hand from now on.Richard: Baby, it happened maybe once or twice.Robin: Maybe your hand won't mind you being a 30-second man.Richard: I'm sorry Baby, really.Robin: You're sorry alright. The sorriest guy I ever met.(Camera pans back to Peter, the host.)Peter: Moving right along, our next question is for Rita. Rita, we asked Sam if he thought you had a big butt. Does your husband think you have a big butt? Rita?(Camera pans to Sam and Rita.)Rita (Smiling.): Of course not. My husband loves my butt.BZZZZZZ (A buzzer sounds.)Rita: What? You always say I have a fine butt, you good for nothing loser.Sam: I just figured that's what you wanted to hear.Rita: Yea, well you'll be hearing the door slam as I walk out later.Sam: Good. I hope you and my good-for-nothing brother.
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